Long and Weary My Road Has Been

Or "Dear Clana Freaks your ship still sucks and is about as fun as an ax to the face"

Does the Clana relationship have any merit or base in both  a literary or even story telling sense or put forth any greater connection to the viewers in terms of a story imparting a universal truth.

Short answer no, long answer keep reading.

Yesterday I stated that Clana sit around like a pair of potted plants looking longingly at each other. I stand by that statement and do myself one better by adding I've never seen a more unromantic TV couple EVER and the fact that seven years into the fact WE'RE STILL HERE. Most people's dislike of the Clana pairing has reached critical mass due to the fact that after several years this sham of a relationship has made no progress in either direction and here are these 20 year olds acting both as boring as possible and like a pair of love sick 14 year olds.

The big sticking point with me is simply this. After seven years I still cannot see a valid adult reason for these two to be together. They have spent the bulk of their teenage years and their young adult life cursing fate and blaming reality while making moon eyes at each other across the battle field of existence like Romeo and Juliet crossed with War and Peace and a heavy use of LSD. Then for about the six days they have been together in this series when they overcome whatever it is their overcoming I rightly don't know perhaps Lana's need to have 3 boy friends at a time. They sit there like a pair of idiots that are bored with life. Without some childish conflict of "I desire what I cannot have oh curse cruel fate ! I will now upload depressing poetry to myspace." [insert "Crawling" by Linkin Park right here] There is no relationship here. Nothing not a bit. They both get off on the drama and the idea of being together not the reality of it.    

These two aren't overcoming adversity, striving to make each other better, forging some soul deep connection and from what I can see they don't even seem that turned on by each other. It comes down to this. Clark's desire for Lana is a hold over from childhood and it's tied up with all the immaturity of it. He never evolved any ideas about her besides she's pretty. As for Lana she's her own entry all together, the controlling power hungry freak that she is.  

Why I should I cheer a pairing that not only seems to have no reality to base it on, but seems to make both parties miserable when their in it. Oh and while I'm on the subject that time they had sex to nine million candles made me laugh with the sheer absurdity of it. I mean I've done the whole romance thing but come on that was goofy as all hell. Clana, this was a one night stand that's gone on too many years too long. They found each other hot, they have sex, they decide not to date and they move on.

But no it's back to the PINING GLANCES OF PINING~! Why are they still doing this ? Your dating have some fun, go to a movie, smile something. God these two are the most depressing people on Earth. They've gone and broken up repeatedly and still come back together for more passive aggressive, you lied, you where wrong, validate my illegal activities and murder my ex husband Clark. Just on and on and on. The keeper for me on the show was that Lana is so shallow and her relationship with Clark is so non existent that she fails to notice when she's got his evil clone tonguing her.

Oh this is so good it needs a new paragraph. This kinda proves it. Their only together because their so dense that they can't move past acting like 14 year olds. But to the Clana freaks this is true love. Because love apparently involves a bunch of angst, lies, and pain. But hey if you look pretty together that's all that matters right ? Emotional dept what's that ? I said it before and I'll say it again, your ship sucks. I don't think they even care if these two are happy so long as they can keep drooling over KK and TW story line be damned. Hell SV could keep Bizo for all they care because the pink princess gets her man slave, the fact that he's an evil psychopath oh no she can (stop me if you heard this one) change him. Unreality thy name is Clana.  

Also the Chloe hate. I'll cut to the chase on that one. You hate the fact that she loves him and truly knows him and still loves him. You hate the fact that he loves her and when in his own mind only she believed. You hate the fact that when the world was dying it was them standing in a scene that's as old as writing in a lover's embrace. Clana gets all the immature high school angst crap and Chlark gets the more adult plot (both good and bad) and in your heart of hearts you hate the fact that when he was 14 and on the edge of learning what want is that it was her pressed against him giving him his first kiss and not your princess.

"But TW and KK are so hot together ZOMG~!" 

Clana freaks your ship is one big masturbation fantasy. Too harsh ? It's true and you know it.

Oh and it's dead too like the parrot in Monty Python.

"This is an ex ship"

"No it's just resting."

No gentle reader it's dead and it won't be missed.        

Oh and as for what universal truth we got out of this epic disaster I'll go with: Substance always wins over style. Also when picking your mate don't always go for the epic angst fest drama queen the cute smart girl is probably a better choice. We got a truth, just not the one I don't think the writers were going for. 

Endings... 

~*~

"There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. But doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed, though you still get the same soaking. This understanding extends to everything."

-"Ghost Dog Way of the Samurai"

~*~

First off I'm amazed how many people have found my journal and friended me. Thank you ever so much. Validation that your words have a merit and are thus worthy of people's time is a humbling praise. I'm both humbled and pleased.

Today's theme is endings. To specific today's ending is for Smallville's own Chloe Sullivan.

An ending in a story is not an event in and of itself. An ending is the simple resolution of past events. The story tells it's itself the characters grow, change, and have conflict and then the story ends. I'm not a big fan of cliff hanger endings. It is entirely possible to finish one tale and then move on to another. The ending itself comes through the story and grows in it's telling. It's not the result, but actions along the path that should shape an ending.

I've heard several ideas for Chloe's ending. Let me grab the ones I see the most.

-"Chloe dies healing Clark"

This one is just plain worthless. It negates the story we've had up until this point. Using Chloe's death to motivate Clark into being Superman totally destroys his core traits. Superman is Superman because he chooses to be, choice being the key term. The fact that he with the strength of a god makes the willing choice to be a hero is key to his character. Also using this as a giant reset switch to make Nois into something resembling a competent character. No.....just no. Anyone who backs the above needs to be bludgeoned about the head with a hard bound copy of the complete scripts of Joss Whedon's "Firefly" in the dim hopes that it causes them to learn characterization through osmosis. This ending is just a character destroying angst car wreck.

-"Chloe loses her memory and-"

Enough with the damn plot twist coconut to the skull endings. The idea that if Chloe is ILL then can't know who Superman is, come on it's ridiculous. She's known in the comics for going on 20 years now. The triangle for two plot line was written out in the comics because it's annoying and played out. Also any idea that this somehow brings SV canon closer to DCU canon is ignoring the other 256.5 non canon elements SV has. For the 50th and hopefully last time, SMALLVILLE IS AN AU!. Gods how hard is it to get ? I know those of you reading get it. But why in the general sense do others have so much trouble with this.    

-"Chloe becomes Watchtower"

Not a horrid idea but it's not the story we've been seeing. They had a chance to write her into this roll but they didn't do it. Chloe still equals reporter. So this comes across more as a way to do something with the character as opposed to let the story lead her to a fitting ending. Sometimes you have to let the story end the way it ends. Forcing things rarely works and often damages the story. (See: Clana the gaping chest wound of ships)

-"Chloe is ILL"

See this fits. It fits her character, it fits her traits and best of all it fits the story they've been telling. I'd go into greater detail but that's another entry and I want it to be it's own entry. But out of all the ideas this makes the most sense.

So yeah comments :) ?   

The Quick and the Dead

Ah livejournal this is my third attempt to have an online journal and hopefully this one will have some degree of substance. The way I figure it apathy can be avoided if I try and put words to screen that have some degree of substance.

I started posting at Television Without Pity's most excellent Smallville forum a couple of months ago. I was tentative at first. I mean it's rather late in the game to start posting now but I was met with a very intelligent and well read bunch of posters who not only listened but agreed with and discussed many of my view points. It's by far one of the best online posting things I've ever done. You guys are awesome.
 

Now you may ask why start with a rant. Well the reason is simple. Every fandom has one group of nutters you can't stand so lets cut to brass tacts and get going, cause some of you clanarchists act like you got bashed upside the skull with sledge hammer made of of crystallized incompetence. This "Die For Our Ship" nonsense is why every fandom that exist is looked down by those not in it.

The excellent site http://tvtropes.org defines this as:

"More often, though, when Shipping comes into play, the character is hated for existing at all.

Hate shrines. Death fics. Fics where the formerly sweet and loyal character cheats on the heroine with her two best friends and proceeds to murder her teammates, just so she can be with the Jerk With A Heart Of Gold, or the Stalker With A Crush, or her brother, or whomever else the fan prefers. They're all over the place. People who know nothing about the show or even the genre have heard just how much of the fandom hates the rival love interest."

Now I'm all for cheering for your favorite pairing and drooling over fan art for it and reading the fan fiction etc etc etc. I do it myself and a few of my favorite pairings are AU. But when your need to validate your pairing goes to the extremes of you ignoring the canon and characterization of the show your watching and leads you to get into fights with others on livejournal, you've become an idiot and need to step away from the laptop.

Clanarchists now I've come to you guys. If we could use stupid as an energy source the amount of it coming off the "Sweet" forum could be used to power this planet until the Kryptonians really do invade. The lack of understanding when it comes to writing and even in some cases real life and what love really is, that is somehow worse and somehow sadder.

The heart of it is this: You finally got Clana and it totally sucks. It's devoid of all real passion and emotion and any real soul connection or bone deep want. They sit there staring longingly at each other and doing little else. Clana fans when you grow up you'll learn that real love isn't about pining or being kept apart or even looking 'pretty' together. The idea that acting asexual around each other and looking like the most boring pair of 20 year olds ever is a somehow more mature love, trust me it isn't. Real love is understanding, honesty, and trust. Real love is someone who knows the real you and still loves you inspire of or because of it. Real love is knowing their mind and their ethics and walking beside them. Real love is when the world is ending I've got your back. Real love is not sitting around staring at each other like a pair of potted plants. Real love is having quick and dirty sex with the person you adore most in this world against the alley wall of some club somewhere and sneaking off and later laughing about how you almost got caught and how ridiculous you both look with hair and cloths ruffled and eyes bright, life coursing through your veins.     

My intent when I started this entry was to bash, but now I just feel pity. Pity that some people view Clana as something romantic or epic and think this is what love is really like. Oh and for the last time love is not having some doubting slave following you around. That's not it either. Nor is hiding from your duty.

Clanarchists .......just (shakes head)

Also stop with the KK and TW obsession seriously that's just creepy.